I AM ALONE.
As I muttered those three words,
I waited for the surrounding darkness of my bedroom to suffocate me with fear.
But instead, contentment, peace and happiness
popped in and said hello.
They even pitched a tent and stayed the night.
In fact, they are still here!
During my self-vacation week,
I was able to shed a layer of fear that I didn’t even know existed.
The fear of being alone.
I believe all humans fear loneliness in different degrees
because life is about relationships.
Without relationships there is no life,
or so we think.
My fairytale of relationships was shattered when my dad died.
That experience was my proof that you could marry the man of your dreams
but he could still be taken away.
It was proof that you could promise to be with someone for the rest of your life
yet, end up alone.
During one of my favorite psychic readings
in which she told me about the amazing man (my husband Malcolm)
that will come into my life,
she said this:
“He’s around the corner! Are you ready? Do not be afraid to be alone!”
You see, this notion of loneliness has clung to my identity for the past 10 years
even after I met and married the man of my dreams.
So when my soul craved a self-vacation that happened to be during Thanksgiving,
my mind, my ego,
my mind, my ego,
couldn’t see the bigger picture.
The mind is selfish and it enjoys being comfortable.
The mind is selfish and it enjoys being comfortable.
All my mind understood was that it was Thanksgiving
and people go home to their families for the Holidays!
So it yelled at me, “Go Home! You cant spend 7 days alone!!”
But instead, I listened to the deep nagging of my heart.
Our hearts are connected to the Divine (the Universe, God)
and it understands the “bigger picture” or “the plan.”
God knew i was ready to resolve my fear of being alone,
so i was handed 7 days of solitude on a silver platter
and i nervously accepted the challenge.
and it understands the “bigger picture” or “the plan.”
God knew i was ready to resolve my fear of being alone,
so i was handed 7 days of solitude on a silver platter
and i nervously accepted the challenge.
Turns out, it was more than just a challenge,
it was a Life Lesson.
it was a Life Lesson.
I discovered I am able to have fun and be happy with myself, and only myself!
It’s Possible!!
That moment of darkness in my bedroom
proved to be the first time in my life i was Alone and Happy.
It’s Possible!!
That moment of darkness in my bedroom
proved to be the first time in my life i was Alone and Happy.
Alone and Happy.
^ 3 weeks ago, i never thought i would say those words in the same phrase ^
^ 3 weeks ago, i never thought i would say those words in the same phrase ^
(Granted, there was a time limit on my loneliness.
I understand the strength it takes to conquer loneliness
when you don’t know how long you will be alone.)
