thethe blog.journal

Downtown Detroit Engagement + Matthew and Erica

I hadn’t been to downtown Detroit in almost eight years
so when I had the opportunity to explore it with two locals
for their engagement session….. I COULDNT WAIT!!!!!
We started the session in their home, then we rode around on
scooters and bikes to eclectic, amazing locations around Detroit!!!
I loved EVERY MINUTE.

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My “weird” photography process to capture natural photos

If you’re interested in my “process” of photographing real people, that are actually posing, but it doesn’t look like it….
you have to know that I am inspired by what some would consider the “weirdest moments.”
Like……..  I asked Matt to change his shirt so we had a color change, but when he was ruffling through the drawer,
I quickly realized it was a BEAUTIFUL natural everyday moment, so I told Erica-
“go love on him while he’s doing that!” Later when Matt was changing the song on his phone,
Erica grabbed her feet and posed herself NATURALLY… (photos above)
and all I had to do was NOTICE. My job is to observe first, and second, communicate and translate
that into a photograph. That’s why in-home sessions are my everything!!!!!!
They inspire me more than anything else!!! I am inspired by mundane, random moments I see during sessions.
People constantly pose themselves in their own house and photographers simply have to NOTICE.
I believe the minute you take subjects to a field or to a beach,
maybe 95% of the natural posing that is effortlessly shown while in their own home, is lost!
It takes a lot of energy and work on behalf of the photographer
AND the subjects to create that natural posing in an “unnatural setting.”

So my advice to photographers is to notice…… observe. Every little movement and moment.

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The most pivotal moment in my spiritual journey


Most of the words I will use in this post are from Matt Kahn’s
Youtube video Emotional Oneness.
I watched it in January 2015 and IT CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER.
He gives the earth-shattering perspective of:
“the ego is just an inflated character the inner child concocts
as a way to get the attention from others it feels it didn’t gain from the past.
Do NOT bring spiritual or religious philosophy to your innocence!
The inner child perceives spirituality as what is more worthy of you attention.”
The ego is not BAD!!! It is NOT something we need to get away from, shut down, or quiet.
The ego is our inner child wanting the love and attention it deserves!
Jesus says, “If you bring forth what is in you, it will save you. If you do not bring forth what is in you, it will destroy you!”
He also encourages us to become like Little Children often! Translate it however you desire,
but I believe Jesus is talking about our inner child, aka what we like to call our ego.
The most important step in recognizing the ego is just our inner child wanting love,
is apologizing so deeply to our innocence. In the Youtube video,
Matt leads us through an apology that I wrote out:

“Dear Inner Child, I AM SO SORRY if you ever felt hurt, abandoned, rejected, or doubted by anyone in the past. Or if you’ve ever felt I have lived in such a way that excluded you from my experience, made you feel less-than, humiliated, judged you, called you an ego by thinking you’re a barrier to God, that you’re something for me to get away from, as if you weren’t a pivotal part in my journey. I am sorry if my spirituality made you feel like the invisible sibling thats never enough for my attention. I am sorry if lovers seemed more important than loving you. I am sorry if you ever felt unsafe around people I surrounded myself with. I am sorry I did not hear your requests and instead made other people validate my existence instead of keeping you safe. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. Let this moment be a restart. Where we make peace. The body and the mind reunite and we come together so that the war in me can end! As a conscious parent to my own innocence, that no longer has to act so desperately to earn my loving approval and no longer has to create external crisis in order to motivate me to send love to it. I LOVE YOU. I AM SORRY. Please forgive me! I did not know how deeply you hurt! and I vow from this moment forward to keep you safe, that allows you to speak whatever you need to say, that listens to anything you want to share and that loves you and adores you as ONLY I can love and adore you!”

Not everyone will understand this post and thats totally okay!!!
But to the ones who are currently trying to get away from their ego:
I truly hope this can be a restart for your body and mind.
If you need help talking to your inner child, find a photo of yourself under the age of 10
and talk to that little child. You would never talk negatively or bad to them! Only unconditional Love!!!
Try treating your adult self with the same graciousness you would give to a child.
LET YOUR INNER CHILD COME OUT TO PLAY! xoxo

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The Gift Of Staying Married vs Giving Up

We DEFINITELY got married too young
(22 & 26)…..
yet, we wouldn’t change the course we chose.
Nostalgia surrounds our beginning years, as we swam in our youth,
trying to find ourselves, our passions, and a path we could walk together…
this is probably why in Year Eleven, we feel the most grounded and fulfilled we’ve ever been.
I think mostly because each of us are presently living our dreams and fulfilling our own souls,
so that when we come together, God, we’re happy. It’s taken us this long to finally end
our disagreements with blown out LAUGHTER.
In Year Eleven, we had the most soul riveting moment at a restaurant when we caught each others eyes,
locked it in, and both started crying, over “nothing,” but we both knew our souls saw each other in that moment,
in a way we have never seen each other before. It was a new moment for us.
Thats the gift of sticking together versus giving up.
We had a season of marriage when we had to choose to stand up and fight for it,
and now looking back, the moment in the restaurant is why I will always fight for us:
when you choose a growth-centered relationship, the best is always yet to come.
Each year is better because we are consciously choosing to be self aware of our own baggage,
trying to communicate better than in the past, and trying to resolve conflict better than before!
A growth-centered relationship is much less likely to fail if its always learning, growing,
and WANTING to be BETTER.

Book recommendation: We love the book Hold Me Tight By Dr Sue Johnson!

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